


Fear Is the Heart Of Love

by IWillBeTheEndofYou



Series: The Domestic Lives Of Figure Skaters [20]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Comfort, Found Family, Growing, Healing, M/M, Podium Family, Therapy, bag candy again, big wet kisses, looking our for our own, rallying around those that are hurt, snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWillBeTheEndofYou/pseuds/IWillBeTheEndofYou
Summary: Yuri decides on his theme for the season.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Series: The Domestic Lives Of Figure Skaters [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046686
Comments: 26
Kudos: 114





	Fear Is the Heart Of Love

“Yuri!” Mila, wrapping her arms around him. Yuri growled, but didn't push her away. He let her hold onto him for a moment, glaring as he did so. But his eyes were without their usual vitriol, and maybe that was more concerning than anything else.

“I'm fine, quit worrying.” he mumbled.

“How could I not worry?” she nuzzled him, a big gesture she knew he'd hate. He finally batted her away from him with a groan.

“I have two whole adults that worry about me all the time. I promise I don't need another.” he muttered. She just gave him a smirk and big fat kiss on his cheek. He growled and made a show of wiping it off. Stupid Mila, he thought. The old hag. He finished lacing up his skates. 

He tried to forget everything while he was on the ice, trying to lose himself in the warm up. Concentrate on getting everything nice and loose. Dr. Schultz said it would be good for him. Victor was there, of course, he was the coach. But Dr. Schultz said it would be best if he went and worked on paperwork.

There were plenty of people around. Someone could help him if things went wrong. Victor could be there in a moment. And he insisted that Yuuri stay home. Walk the dogs. Take a nap. Don't text a million times. Don't call.

Yuri wasn't a little boy. He was a young man, and they had to treat him that way. It was okay that they were afraid. They had reasons to be scared. It was okay that this felt a little uncomfortable for all of them. They had reasons to be uncomfortable. But they couldn't live their whole lives in the shadow of what Adrian had said and done, and what he had nearly done. 

“Or you can, rather.” Dr. Schultz had said, tilting his head to the side to contemplate Yuri. “But I don't think it would be a life that you would be happy with.”

And he wouldn't have been. So he had taken the packed lunch that Yuuri handed out, taken the tight hug and kiss. He'd followed Victor down to the car. Everyone had decided driving would be better  
than walking today. He saw the way Yuuri bit his lip, the way his fingers kept twitching even after he had told them good bye. He had almost tasted the reluctance to let them go.

And he had stopped sleeping in their bed. He started every night in his own bed, and he even managed to get some sleep there most nights. But he usually woke up, gathered his pillow and blanket, and came to sleep on the floor of their room. They'd set a little pallet in the room for him.

Yuuri had protested with the doctor about that. He didn't mind! It was fine! He could sleep in their bed! Dr. Schultz gently said it was best for all of them if he slept alone. They needed time as adults and as a married couple, and Yuri needed space as a young adult.

“Yurio!” Phichit suddenly, catching the blond's hands with his and spinning him on the ice. He squealed and caught the Thai around his waist, surprised that they didn't both topple down to the ice.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

“Oh, you know, I came to visit Yuuri.” he shrugged. “And to see how you're doing. You know, after all of that.”

“I'm fine,” he shoved him away gently. “You didn't have to come.”

Phichit just watched as he skated away, trying to work on his routine. Yuri considered the things that had happened. The pain, the rage, the helpless feeling. There had to be a way to work that into skating. He poured everything he was onto the ice. This couldn't be any different. He'd have to discuss it with Victor and see what they could do with choreography.

Phichit rode home with them, sitting in front while Yuri sat in the backseat. He kept up a steady stream of chatter. Victor seemed pleased enough with that. And, the younger Russian had to admit, it did seem good for Yuuri when he saw his friend.

Maybe that was what he needed. The two were in the kitchen, sitting with cups of tea. And it was the happiest he had seen Yuuri since the whole event. Yuri showered and changed and worked on his schoolwork. He waited until Victor was sitting calmly in the living room, petting Makka before approaching him.

“I want my routine this year to be about my kidnapping.”

“You do?” his eyebrows raised. “That seems a little---.” he trailed off. It seemed harsh and cruel. “What would you be focusing on?”

“The loss of fear.” the blond squared his shoulders. Victor stared at him for a moment and smiled. Some of the fire was coming back into his eyes, and it was wonderful to see. He worried though, worried that Yuri would rush into things. He was afraid that Yuri would ignore some of the things that he was feeling in favor of acting like he was just stronger for it.

“Have you really lost your fear?” there was a silence, and the blond glared.

“No,”

“Then it wouldn't be a honest skate, would it, darling?” he stamped his foot, looking petulant. It wasn't far from the child he'd first known, the one he knew when he first brought him home. It was nice to see those glimpses now and then.  
“Yuri, you know that you may never lose fear. And that doesn't have to be a bad thing.”

“Of course it does.” he crossed his arms.

“No, it doesn't.” his voice was soft. He was wavering somewhere between being a coach and being a parental figure. He opened his arms. Yuri glanced over his shoulder and looked into the kitchen. The other men where preoccupied, not hearing or caring about what was going on in the living room.

Yuri climbed onto the couch, let Victor wrap his arms around him. They were quiet for a moment. Victor stroked his hair.

“I will never not be afraid of losing you and Yuuri. Because that fear comes from a place of love” he let his words sit for a minute. “You're both so precious to me, that loss would be the loss of everything that I hold dear.”

“I don't understand.” 

“I know. And it's hard to explain.” he admitted. “That fear, that love, is what drives me to do my best and protect you. I know that things didn't work out the way we had planned with that event, but I still do my best. And now that I know what would happen, I work even harder to make things safe and right for you and Yuuri.”

Yuri leaned his head on his guardian's shoulder, saying nothing. But Victor could tell that he was considering what he had said. He let him think, instead he contented himself with the warmth of his child against him, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing, marveling at the fact that his heart was still beating.

“And when we love someone.” he continued after a few moments. “We can't protect them from everything that might happen. That's why it is so dangerous to love someone. Especially the way that Yuri and I love you. So many people are afraid of love, because that fear can be consuming if you let it.”

“Are you very afraid of something happening to me?” 

“Yes,” Victor said bluntly. “Especially since that night. But we are not the only ones that love you. And we are not the only ones that are afraid.”

“Who else is afraid?”

“Phichit,” Victor pointed to the kitchen. “Your Mila, and Otabek. And JJ and Chris message me at least once a day, asking about you, and the trial, and what they can do.”

“They don't message me.” he frowned.

“I asked them not to. Dr. Schultz agreed you needed a little space. Phitchit came for Yuuri, seeing you just made him feel a little bit better.” he ruffled his hair, smiling at the scowl he got in return.  
“And there have been meetings and discussions about what can be done to prevent stalking. The ISU is trying to put together some recommendations.” 

“But they didn't target me because I was a skater.”

“No, but they knew where you skated, and even if you hadn't come down that night, they could have come for you there. There isn't nearly enough security at some of these places. The fact is that we  
are high profile. If someone wanted to, it is easy to hurt you.”

“What like, I need a body guard?” Yuri snorted.

“Yes, maybe.” Victor was being serious. “Dr. Schultz and I have spoken about it.”

Yuri let the subject drop. He stayed leaning against the older man. He seemed to soak up the affection that was being given to him. 

***

“Yuri!” Chris was there as soon as he walked into the hotel of the competition. Yuri sighed, but accepted the hug. He let the other man cup his face, examine him all over, even though he was months from the event. The bruises were long since healed.  
“It is so nice to see you.” he said softly.

He got similar treatment from JJ and Leo. He sighed and allowed them make their examinations. After all, this was part of loving someone, wasn't it? Worrying about them? Trying to make sure things were safe for them?

He noticed that he was never left alone. If Victor or Yuuri wasn't with him, then one of the others was. It was like being back at the rink, he thought. His rink mates had taken to walking him to Victor when it was time for him to go, and eyeing anyone new who came in with suspicion.

The rink even put a new policy into place for the children's lessons. No kid was allowed out until an adult who had registered with the program came inside and got the child. Previously, the kids all ran out to adults waiting in cars. At least now everyone was accounted for, and no one could sneak in and say they were there to pick someone up if they weren't registered.

It was annoying, Yuri thought, as he put his hands in his pockets and sat next to JJ, Victor and Yuuri having needed to go somewhere for something. But maybe there was some safety in numbers. And if it made them feel better, it probably wasn't the worst thing in the world.

“What's your theme for this year?” JJ asked, and it was almost like they were just two pals talking about work, rather than him feeling like he was being baby sat by the other boy. He looked thoughtfully at JJ for a moment.

Victor and Yuuri appeared at his peripheral then. He shot up and waved his arm. Yuuri's face lit up and he waved back. They made their way towards him, smiling and chatting to one another, pausing to give hugs to a few people, say hello to others. But they never stopped walking closer to Yuri the whole time. They made it clear that they had somewhere they needed to be, as kindly as they were able to.

Yuri's heart went warm, and he felt it spreading through his body. He let his arm fall back to his side, inhaled deeply. His fingertips tingled. He turned then and smiled at his competitor. 

“My theme is fear.”

“Fear?” JJ repeated. He hadn't been expecting it.

“Fear is beautiful.” Yuri nodded seriously. “As long as you know how to use it correctly.” JJ just looked at him thoughtfully. Before he could speak, Victor and Yuuri were there, greeting him and sitting down, making themselves comfortable. Yuuri pulled out some candy, handing a piece to each of them.

Strange family, JJ thought. But they seem happy enough. He watched the way Yuuri smoothed back Yuri's hair. He watched the way Victor said something and they both laughed. Even if they were strange, JJ decided, you could at least tell that they loved each other.


End file.
